Her Longing
by Serenity Rose
Summary: Why does Ran feel so guilty and responsible for Aya's condition?


Her Longing  
  
By Serenity Rose  
  
Ever wonder why Ran feels so responsible for Aya? Why he works so hard for her, to pay her bills? Why he wants to see her smile again so badly? Because I have, so I've decided to write a songfic based on Kiss' "Beth".  
  
This fic is dedicated, first of all, to the creator of the website "Angel Black 2.0" without which I would have absolutely no idea how to write this fic; and to my Mei-chan, Rei, who introduced me to Weiss Kruez. Aishiteru, Mei-chan! ^_^ Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own Aya, I do not own Ran, I do not own Weiss Kruez, as much as I wish I did. I have no job, I'm 14 for Christ's sake, and therefore have no income, you will get nothing if you sue me. "Beth" is not mine either, I just sort of used it for emotional purposes, it belongs to Kiss, I love those guys!  
  
Warnings: Uhm, this is actually a fairly mild fic. No language worries, and a teeny weenie itsy bitsy hint of sexual content, nuffin to worry about, so, uhm, enjoy!  
  
***  
  
"Ran-chan," Aya whined over the phone, "You promised you'd take me to the movies tonight!"  
  
"I know, Aya-chan, but I'm busy. Haruka and I still have to finish a few things for the project. On Friday, I promise I'll take you to see that movie, ne?" came Ran's strained voice over the phone.  
  
[Beth I hear you calling  
  
But I can't come home right now  
  
Me and the boys are playing  
  
And we just can't find the sound]  
  
Aya sighed and closed her eyes, "Alright."  
  
"I'll see you when I get home, I shouldn't be much longer," Ran said, "Aishiteru, mei-chan."  
  
"Aishiteru." Aya responded and dropped the phone back onto the receiver.  
  
[Just a few more hours  
  
And I'll be right home to you  
  
I think I hear them calling  
  
Oh Beth what can I do  
  
Beth what can I do]  
  
Ran canceling on her didn't surprise Aya. He had done it so many times before that Aya couldn't count. He always had an excuse, 'Ne, I promised Sakura-sama I'd take her out tonight', 'Haruka-kun and I have something that we have to finish for school', 'Gomen, Aya-chan, I'm too tired tonight'. Always an excuse.  
  
She didn't even know why she had gotten her hopes up for tonight, maybe because he had promised her. Well, apparently his promises meant nothing, just like his words. He was never home, he was always out with his friends, or taking his girlfriend somewhere.  
  
  
  
Aya was always home alone, her parents were very busy with their government job, and of course Ran was never there. She felt so lonely sometimes, because she had no where else to go. None of her friends ever invited her anywhere. Her life was very… hollow.  
  
[You say you feel so empty  
  
That our house just ain't a home  
  
That I'm always somewhere else  
  
And you're always there alone]  
  
Hollow… Just like Ran's promises, just like his voice was whenever he made a sorry excuse for not taking her out. The only time they ever spent together was late at night, when he'd get home from wherever he was, sometimes they'd sit in his room and talk until their parents got home at 3 a.m.  
  
How was it possible for her to love Ran so much, and hate him with a passion at the same time?  
  
At any rate, this was going to be another one of those nights, lonely and deprived of the outside world. Aya figured she might as well get busy with… something. She sighed as she thought, 'Ladies and gentleman, welcome to another exciting night in the life of Aya Fujimaya.'  
  
***  
  
Ran pushed the button on the cordless phone, silencing his sister's voice. He rolled over in bed to face Sakura, whom was still fast asleep after their earlier exploits. Ran felt a pang of guilt for lying to Aya. It's not that he wanted to lie to her, but it was for her own good. He supposed it would disturb her a little, and upset her more than a little, if he'd called her and said, 'Hey Aya-chan, sorry I can't take you to the movies tonight like I promised, but I'm kinda' busy screwing Sakura-sama tonight.' No, that wasn't a good way to go, especially with Aya. He had to take her on Friday; he had to make up for letting her down.  
  
Sometimes he thought he didn't spend enough time with her. He loved her more than anyone else, and he was definitely closer to her than any of his friends, even Sakura. Sakura… Sakura reminded him of Aya sometimes, with the way she smiled, and how she was always so warm-hearted and well to do about everything. It surprised him that she had let him get this far with her tonight.  
  
Ran sighed and pulled Sakura closer to him, her bare legs rubbing against his. Slowly he drifted off into sleep, and a troubled dream.  
  
***  
  
Aya peered out of her window into the summer night beyond. Everything looked so peaceful, so serene. She was sitting on her bed, her head resting on her hands, which were crossed on the windowsill. She drew in a deep breath as a tear rolled down her cheek, leaving a wet trail before landing on her hand and slowly disappearing.  
  
Aya never wanted to be with Ran as much as she did now. She felt so alone, so terribly empty. She hoped he'd be home soon, she just needed to talk to someone.  
  
[Just a few more hours  
  
And I'll be right home to you  
  
I think I hear them calling  
  
Oh Beth what can I do  
  
Beth what can I do]  
  
Aya's phone rang, she sniffled, gently wiping some tears out of her eyes as she reached over and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Moshi moshi?" she asked while looking over to her alarm clock, which read 11:05 p.m.  
  
"Hey. Ran-kun canceled out on you again, ne?" came her friend, Asuka's voice from the other end of the line.  
  
"Hai." Aya responded sniffling again.  
  
"That sucks. Are you alright?" Asuka asked.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so. I just…" Aya sighed, "I really thought he'd keep his promise this time."  
  
"Well, that goes to show you how trustworthy men are, ne?" Asuka said, making Aya laugh a little, "Listen, my parents aren't home, you want me to come over or something?"  
  
"No, I think I'd like to be alone tonight for once." Aya said.  
  
"Alright, you sure?"  
  
"Hai, I'll be fine." Aya responded.  
  
"Okay then, ja ne."  
  
"Ja."  
  
Aya hung up the phone and laid down, pulling her sheets up to her chin as another tear dripped down onto the pillow. She closed her eyes, and cried herself to sleep.  
  
***  
  
Ran drove quickly down the street at 3:30 a.m., just exceeding the speed limit. The dream he had had was disturbing, enough to make him leave Sakura's without even leaving a note, and rush home as quickly as possible. The only horrible image that he could remember from it had been that of Aya, laying motionless in a hospital bed with monitors all around her, one of which showed a flat line continually across the screen as a high-pitched screeching noise filled his ears.  
  
Ran rushed into the house, to see his parents, both sitting at the table with cups of coffee look over to him.  
  
"Ohayo," Ran said nervously, "What are you two doing here?"  
  
"We live here? We just got home from work. Where have you been, Aya's been worried sick about you!" his father said.  
  
"Gomen, I…" Ran started, then found he couldn't finish, "I've got to go see Aya-chan."  
  
Ran dashed up the staircase and quickly turned Aya's doorknob. He saw her, sleeping innocently in her bed, a teddy bear held close to her. Her eyes looked puffy as if she had been crying a lot. Ran was hit with another larger pang of guilt as he peered upon Aya's sleeping face.  
  
Ran slowly made his way to her bed and kneeled down next to it, gently brushing some of her hair behind her ear.  
  
"Aishiteru, mei-chan." He whispered as he climbed to his feet, not wanting to wake her.  
  
***  
  
"Ran-chan, wake up! You need to drive me to school!" Ran vaguely heard Aya say as she shook him awake.  
  
Ran pulled the pillow off of his head, yawning a bit. He looked up at Aya, whom was puffy-eyed from deprivation of sleep. A wave of guilt hit him, and he felt suddenly that he had to tell her the truth about last night. Fighting back the almost irresistible urge, he pulled himself out of bed and pulled a black t-shirt over his head as Aya watched, running a comb quickly through his hair.  
  
Aya looked so cute in that schoolgirl uniform. She always looked cute though, Ran thought. School… Too bad she had to go, or he could take her around today…  
  
Perfect!  
  
Ran turned to Aya, grinning. Aya looked confused for a moment.  
  
"Aya-chan, go get your pajamas back on and get in bed, you're sick today." Ran said, winking at her.  
  
Aya smirked and nodded, heading quickly back to her room.  
  
***  
  
Ran heard his parents' footsteps as they swept briskly downstairs at 10:00 a.m. They were dressed and ready for work, but didn't go on their usual path directly out the door. They turned to stare at Ran who was watching TV with a pajamaed Aya cradled in his arms.  
  
"What are you two still doing home?" asked their mother severely.  
  
"Aya-chan really isn't feeling well today, so I decided to stay home with her and care for her." Ran explained coolly.  
  
Their parents looked at each other, and mother nodded, turning back to the two of them.  
  
"Ne, stay in the house, and if anything happens, call us at work, the number's on the fridge. Be good."  
  
"Okay, Mommy." Said Aya, smiling innocently.  
  
Ran didn't know how Aya could be 16 years old and still manage to make herself look like a total angel.  
  
Their parents left swiftly, and as soon as their car was out of the driveway, Aya stood.  
  
"Go get dressed," Ran told her, "We have a busy day ahead of us."  
  
[Oh Beth what can I do  
  
Beth what can I do]  
  
***  
  
Aya and Ran laughed as they drove home at 6:00 that night. They had had a wonderful day. They went to the mall and the movies, as well as spending a long time at the carnival that was in town. Ran felt a little better now, now that the day was done and he had done everything he had promised to do with her in the past few months.  
  
"So Ran-chan," said Aya, "Did you and Haruka-kun get your project finished last night?"  
  
"Erm…" Ran began, being hit with another wave of guilt, "Actually, Aya- chan, I have something to tell you about that."  
  
The smile slowly faded from Aya's face and she stared at him, then finally said, "Nani?"  
  
"Well, you see, I wasn't at Haruka-kun's last night when you called. I was…" Ran hesitated a moment, "With Sakura-sama."  
  
"But Ran-chan it was 9:00, what were you doing at her house…" Aya's voice trailed off, "…that late…"  
  
Ran bit his lip.  
  
"You didn't!" Aya said sharply, sounding a lot like mother, "You didn't!"  
  
Ran nodded, shutting his eyes tightly as he turned off the car when they were in the driveway.  
  
"You lied to me?!" Aya burst out, her voice strained, trying not to cry.  
  
"Gomen, Aya-chan." Ran whispered, his voice trembling, and his eyes still closed as he gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.  
  
Aya shook her head and opened the car door; quickly exiting and slamming it shut again angrily behind her. Ran did the same, a little way behind.  
  
"Aya-chan…" Ran started.  
  
"Nani yo?" Aya answered fiercely.  
  
"Don't do this." Ran answered simply, sounding a little annoyed.  
  
How dare he be annoyed! After what he had done!? How he had lied to her!? Aya couldn't believe this! She was so angry that she could feel the beating of her heart throbbing in her ears. It took all she had not to turn around and strangle Ran.  
  
[Beth I hear you calling]  
  
"What, you just thought you'd soften me up and then hit me with the…" Aya stopped dead and let out an earsplitting scream as she opened the door and peered inside.  
  
Both her parents, lying on the floor. Her mother, with her eyes open wide and a look of terror frozen on her face. Her father, sprawled next to mother with an anguished expression. Both had bullet wounds on their chest, lying in pools of their own blood, which met, mixed, and stained the peach- colored carpet beneath it. Dead.  
  
Ran rushed in behind Aya and let out a horrified gasp as the sight met his eyes as well. Aya turned away from her parent's dead bodies and buried her head into Ran's chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly as she wept hysterically. Ran took her in his arms and tucked her head under his chin as a tear rolled down his own cheek, one of sadness and fury. One thought was running through his mind at that moment, 'Who did this?'  
  
Ran heard a peculiar sound through Aya's distressed sobs. A sort of faint ticking, like that of an alarm clock. There were no clocks in this room, though. Ran panicked, his eyes flitting desperately around the room before landing on a small clock next to his mother's body, the red number 5 on it barely visible through mother's blood.  
  
As the timer struck down to 4, Ran shoved Aya forcefully out the door, stumbling out of it himself. Aya rolled out into the street, landing on her arm with a sickening crack as pain thrilled through her entire body. She looked up at the house; everything seemed to be moving in slow motion.  
  
3… Ran stumbled down the front steps, franticly trying to escape.  
  
2… Aya saw Ran, and called out his name, yelling "AISHITERU!", convinced that this was the end for both of them.  
  
1… Ran peered straight into his sister's eyes as he landed on the lawn, not able to move any further, knowing he was done for, "AISHITERU, AYA-CHAN!"  
  
0… A loud explosion erupted suddenly from the house behind Ran. He remembered fiery red and the black of the smoke as he was engulfed by flames, unbearable pain searing through his entire body, and his long, loud scream echoing through the evening air. He tried to crawl over to Aya as he saw her stand and attempt to run over to him, her right arm hanging limply at her side.  
  
A car… He tried to call out and warn her, but he had seen it too late. The car collided with his sister's fragile body, sending her over the top and to the ground again behind it, landing with another sickening crack on her head, knocked unconscious immediately.  
  
The last thing Ran saw before he fell unconscious was the face of Reiji Takitori, his teeth glinting as he smirked evilly from the back seat.  
  
***  
  
Reporters surrounded Ran as he left the hospital a few weeks later. Ran made his way to his car, bombarded by loud questions and obnoxious accusations that he hardly heard. Politics… Why get involved? That was the reason his family had been so severely ripped apart. Ran was convinced that Reiji Takitori had arranged to have them all killed. His parents had apparently gotten in Takitori's way, threatening his chance of winning the election.  
  
With his parents dead, his sister in a coma, everything he ever owned gone, and his life torn apart, he made his way to a hotel, the press following him in gigantic news vans. He now had the 23,000 dollars the insurance company had given him to live off of.  
  
Ran escaped the reporters and managed to book a hotel room without ID, everyone knew who he was now anyway. They were all over the news, all four of them, dead and alive, and comatose.  
  
He was enraged as he saw pictures of his sister in the evening news. His own face staring back at him in the TV screen as well. His parent's death had been called suicide, but Ran alone knew the truth. It enraged him that anyone could be that cold-hearted, and now he had to suffer the repercussions.  
  
'I want that man to suffer,' Ran thought coldly as Reiji Takitori's face flashed across the screen, 'I want him to suffer more terribly than I am now. I want him to feel my pain and the pain of everyone else in the world at the moment he dies, and I want him to burn eternally in hell afterwards.'  
  
The reporter on the screen was smiling serenely as she spoke of him, as if he were some kind of saint, and Ran's parents had been the sinners all along.  
  
'They don't know the truth about him. Well, I'll make them know. I'll avenge mom and dad, and especially Aya-chan. I'll make Takitori wish he'd never been born.'  
  
That was the moment Ran Fujimaya threw away his smile.  
  
***  
  
"I killed that driver for you, Aya-chan." Ran whispered sweetly into his comatose sister's ear, as if he had done nothing more than bring her flowers, "I'm going to kill them all for you, even Reiji. Just give me some time."  
  
Ran looked upon he face, and touched her soft skin gently.  
  
'It's going to take a miracle for her to awaken.' The doctor's voice echoed through his head, 'Either that or a severe shock. She's deep in a coma.'  
  
"Are you ever going to wake up and smile for me again, ai?" Ran asked, on the verge of tears again, "I won't smile again until you do."  
  
Aya's face remained rigid, her mouth in a permanent frown.  
  
"At any rate, I'm going to meet some people today. I'm going to become an assassin for you, the better to kill those men by. I'll still come and visit you every day, don't worry. My dearest Aya-chan." Ran leaned over and kissed her forehead lightly, "Aishiteru."  
  
Ran tucked the bouquet of red roses he had brought into her hands, so that the crimson petals touched her beautiful lips. He stood and walked out of the room, into the empty, lonely life that awaited him.  
  
[Beth I know you're lonely  
  
And I hope you'll be alright  
  
'Cause me and the boys will be playing  
  
All night]  
  
Alright, not exactly a tear jerker, and thank you to anyone who WAS crying, that was my goal, but… Heh, I kept screwing up and typing Aya instead of Ran because I'm so used to referring to him by her name. Aya-kun is permanently branded in my mind, and it was hard to break the habit, but now I don't have to worry about it anymore! ^_^ (Watch, now I'll start writing Ran instead of Aya. ^_^() Oh well, confusled lil' me!) If anyone would like to see more of my fanfics, please e-mail me at SpiffySpacegirl@hotmail.com Thanx!, and I hope you enjoyed it!  
  
-Serenity Rose 


End file.
